Our Willa is somewhat delayed in her speech but she is picking up new songs and tricks all the time. It's funny how we take all the old nursery rhymes for granted but I think they really do carry the weight of teaching our children important educational lessons like first sounds, ABC's, rhyming, etc.
Since Willa was hardly spoken to for the first 3 years of her life...she is slow to make many of the sounds and speech most children her age have been making for quite some time. So- we are trying to be deliberate about teaching her the basics and not expecting her to "perform" on par with a typical 3 year old. That's why I was so delighted to see her catch on to the this sweet baby game and even turn it around so that Will had to be the "Patty Caker". She's a smart little critter...and the language will come the more she is exposed to it.
ALL of our adopted kiddos have come to us with delays...some skills were acquired quickly while some habits are hard to die. Grady had some problems with large motor function due to his clubbed feet...while Willa is amazingly lythe on her feet even though she came to us with a diagnosis of clubbed feet and possible CP. Ruby was a puddle of squishy sweetness when she came to us--no muscle tone at all & "holey heart". Grady refused to talk for the longest time- but then presto- his feet were repaired and he started talking like a chatter box. Some of our children are highly manipulative, some pleasers, some food hoarders...all of the negative traits can become unnerving until you realize they can be viewed in a positive light...after all...without these behaviors, our children might not have survived their babyhoods in institutional surroundings...ie. orphanages.
We have aquired some new skill sets as parents as well through dealing with some of the issues surrounding adopted Chinese children. Learning baby sign language is a skill I can honestly say has benefitted even my teenagers! Now I can catch their eyes across a crowded room and if my glare doesn't get them to straighten up...then "Be Nice" in sign gets them the message! I carry snacks everywhere I go- it eases a few of my kid's minds to know that food is readily available... Babywipes are magic...for any age...almost as potent as a mother's kiss! My kids will clean themselves/messes right up or wipe a boo boo all by themselves. I can count to 6 in Mandarin Chinese like a pro...yi, er, san, si, wu, liu, ...afterall I have to count 6 heads 346 times a day to make sure I haven't lost one, heaven forbid! I am learning to tell the difference between Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Korean, & Thai features...and Chinese Culture is becoming more and more normal seeming to me--or at least I am beginning to understand why some of my children's most negative traits would be highly esteemed and honored in China while they might not be so welcome here in the States.
For those of you in the adoption community, what special tricks have you learned through adopting special needs kiddos?
1 comment:
We adopted domestically at first and our boys came from Detroit. Both were abused and neglected (while IN the system) but one little guy more so than another. It has been a struggle to learn a new way to parent yet we are blessed to be doing this.
I think that learning the value of routine and how comforting that is to little ones is essential. We, also, have learned that sometimes they shouldn't KNOW that things are happening because anxiety can take over while they are waiting for the event to happen. Our little guy just cannot handle a "countdown" to anything at all...he's better than before but its been hard to teach him coping skills for his anxieties.
Can't wait to hear what others have found is helpful!
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